A Tale of Tempting Marshmallows

Whilst walking along our local High Street, I noticed a large display of pink marshmallows in the window of our local bakers.

This reminded me of the story shared by Daniel Goleman in his first book on the subject of Emotional Intelligence. A study was carried out on young children to see whether they would be able to resist temptation for a potentially greater reward which in this study was two marshmallows instead of the one that was available immediately. Goleman describes the many tactics used by the children to distract themselves away from the waiting treat for what appeared to them like hours, when in fact the experiment only lasted 15 minutes. Around a third of the children succumbed to the treat, whilst the remainder were disciplined enough to succeed in the challenge.

Years later the study went on to establish what had happened to each of the children as they transitioned into adulthood. Interestingly there appeared to be a clear correlation between those children who were disciplined enough to hold on for the second marshmallow and their ongoing success as an adult. Conversely those children who were tempted to immediately access the single marshmallow fared less successfully, often over reacting to the various situations they found themselves in and acting impulsively.It could be concluded that this experiment highlights two distinct personality traits that people are born with however Goleman reasons that these different behavioural responses can indeed be influenced and developed by an individual.

As a leader we sometimes encounter poor performing members of the team who suggest the reason for their shortcomings is down to "just being the way I am". Perhaps no one has invested time to firstly challenge this assumption and secondly support the individual to work on their behaviour. For some this can be identifying and working on the limiting beliefs held by the person to help them break out of a cycle that has steadily become ingrained over time. This cycle begins with the limiting belief which then impacts emotions that subsequently influence behaviours which ultimately affect the outcome. The often negative outcome only serves to reinforce the limiting belief held by the individual and cycle continues.

The key therefore is to really focus in on the belief that is underpinning the behaviour and challenging the reasons why that person holds the belief. Often these reasons start to become no more than excuses when identified and viewed in isolation creating the opportunity to systematically develop a new, more positive belief in place of the limiting one.

It's amazing how this whole thought process can be triggered off by a single random observation. 

The brain is indeed a wonderful piece of technology!

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